Blonde's Diary for 2006:

January - Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.

February - Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels. Helllloooo!!! bottles won't fit in typewriter!

March - Got really excited... finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months... box said "2-4 years!"

April - Trapped on an escalator for hours... power went out!

May - Tried to make Kool-Aid... wrong instructions... 8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets!

June - Tried to go water skiing... couldn't find a lake with a slope.

July - Lost breast stroke swimming competition... learned later, the
other swimmers cheated, they used their arms!

August - Got locked out of my car in rain storm... car swamped
because soft-top was open.

September - The capital of California is "C"... isn't it?

November - Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days... instructions said 1 hour per
pound and I weigh 108 lbs!

December - Couldn't call 911... "duh"... there's no "eleven" button on the stupid phone!

What a year!